I was in Marblehead, Massachusetts, this Sunday for a bridal shower intended to honor the lovely young woman chosen by my beautiful son to be his life partner. My daughter and I stopped first at their tiny-but-lovely condo just off Salem Common to drop off Tashi, the pup who loves Josh and was invited to spend the afternoon of the shower with him and his father as they wired a row of track lights to the kitchen ceiling.

There was a kind of happy chaos in this small (700 square feet) space, peopled by Josh's father, step-mother, mother and sister...as well as Sophie the cautious cat and Tashi the exuberant pup. Tashi and Sophie were circling each other in a dance each was trying to define. Tashi wanted to play, and Sophie wanted nothing more than to be left alone by this strange mop-like creature. No hissing as the last time they met, and only a small pleading whine from the pup. But, still: it was chaos.

Into this chaos, the cell phone rang and my son went off into another room to hear the call. I watched in some confusion as he came back into the kitchen and---without a word---took out the ironing board and iron, set them up in the middle of all the people, animals and electrical equipment, and went in search of something. Still not telling anyone what he was doing, he came out of the bedroom a minute later with a badly wrinkled pashmina shawl.

He brought it to me and quietly asked, "Mom, what kind of material would you say this is?" I made a wild guess, and he went to the iron, set it appropriately and began to iron the shawl---perfectly, I might add---for his sweetheart to wear to her bridal shower. When he was done, he folded it carefully and placed it out of reach of the still-wild puppy.

Now this is an image to warm a modern mother's heart: her son ironing his soon-to-be-wife's shawl. Good going, Josh! But that isn't what struck me most in this quiet moment that almost no one noticed but me. It was the spirit of his attention to detail, the way he wanted everything to be just right for her on this day-of-days. It was the kindness that doesn't announce itself, ask for help, or expect appreciation. He just did it because he loves her.

Such a simple act of emotional and spiritual generosity. What a great heart this young man has! And what a pleasure to be his mom on the day they begin the first of many celebrations of their new life together. In this singular moment, I saw reflected back to me the thousands of hours when a mother (any parent, really) infuses love into the heart of a child so that child, when grown, has a full heart to give when a mate calls for help. I also saw the uniqueness of "Josh," a man who is fortuitously my son, with all the strengths culled from his own life lessons. When called, he answers. Always has. That part belongs to him and has nothing to do with how much he was loved, which was (and is) hugely.

The day was gorgeous, the boats in full sail across Marblehead Neck, the flowers and food lovely, the people fun and funny. It could not have been a more wonderful party. Josh arrived later and even opened a few gifts himself, but the real gift of the day was mine: the sight of my boy, now a man beginning a happy new phase of his life with Lexi, standing at that ironing board, quietly making the day a good one for his beloved.

That attention to detail, that kindness, that graciousness is sometimes all we need to grease the wheels of our more difficult, stressful or painful times. Perhaps the best way to invite such a gift of love is to offer it generously, with no expectation of return on our investment. I have no doubt there are many times when Lexi shows up for Josh when he needs help in his turn.

This will be a good marriage, of that I'm sure. And my certainty comes because of the moment Lexi stepped into the party wrapped in her beautiful pashmina shawl.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Meredith Jordan,